HARVEY WANTED BREAD

I had been collecting unusual personal names for years, saving them up for some sort of future use. The strangest of the names appeared in dreams. Others occurred to me because of circumstances. For instance, Kate and I were driving down a narrow street when a woman in a parked car flung open her door right in our path, without looking out for oncoming traffic. Kate said something about a “door flinger”.   I said “Yeah, Dorothy Doorflinger” and there she was, a character waiting for a song.  I decided to use all the collected names in one song.  What better way than by inviting them all to a wedding?  

A friend of mine had mentioned that he liked bread so much he could eat a whole loaf at one sitting. I then imagined someone who did this daily and to the exclusion of all other foods. He’d be heavy, I thought, and moments later Heavy Harvey Humanhaven was born. His existence would be the exception to the metaphoric rule in Deuteronomy and Matthew about man living not by bread alone. This feller literally did.  And one time Kate added a jasmine-scented cleaning agent to a sink full of water and socks. She mentioned “Jasmine Sockwash”.  I said “Who’s she?”.  It was obvious that Harv and Jasmine were meant for each other.

Most of the wedding foods in the song were suggested  by Kate. 

Some of my songs are built around a musical idea. This one was build around the words. Once I completed the words I began to sing them with no preconceived melody in mind. I liked the simple tune that came pouring out on first singing so I kept it, making no attempt to change or “improve” it. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

HARVEY WANTED BREAD
(Jody Stecher/ Vegetiboy Music, BMI)

Heavy Harvey Humanhaven weighed three dozen stone
Harvey dodged the adage and lived by bread alone
When offered meat or vegeti-bobbles Harvey shook his head
“No thanks such food is not for me.  I’m happy with me bread”

He courted Jasmine Sockwash; so well they did agree
Each pledged unto the other that married they would be
It was hard to make a wedding invitation list
Their differences suggested they could barely coexist

Jasmine wanted mama and her cousin on parole
Dorothy Doorflinger, Gizmo Gadget, Stimson Vole 
Mitchell Twitchell, Nerdly Noodlebag and Liverage McGoy
Harv was thinking just his sister and his sister’s little boy.

About the wedding menu there was even less accord
Her dream repast cost more than Heavy Harvey could afford
Jasmine’s mind it was inclined to go all out and splurge
Harvey said “Let’s serve em bread. O why must we diverge?”

Jasmine wanted Jello with marshmallows and squid, 
Clam sandwiches and pickled rice. Harvey wanted bread.
She wanted pounds of blue spaghetti and mounds of mushroom foam
Harv said “how ‘bout bread and butter too?…and then we can go home”

It’s been over 50 years since these two were wed
Jasmine lives on mushroom foam and Harvey munches bread
Push comes to shove they’re still in love,they balanced by and by
Harv and Jasmine worked it out so why not you and I?